Starting camp for the first time is a milestone right up there with the first day of school. We asked an expert in childhood anxiety, Joanna Robin, PhD for her advice on how to ease your child into this transition.

Question: My 3 year old is starting camp this summer and I cannot even
leave him for an hour unless he is with his nanny or my husband. How
can I help him be successful in his summer camp program?

Answer: Separation anxiety at this age is very common and most children grow out of this stage. However, there are several things that you can do to make this transition easier. These strategies will also be helpful if your child is starting preschool in the fall.

Prepare your child for the start of camp. If possible, try to visit the camp with your child before the session begins. Bring a camera along to take photographs of your child enjoying himself. Look through these photos in the weeks before camp starts to help your child become familiar with the camp. In addition, find out the daily schedule and the counselors’ names ahead of time so that you can talk to your child about what the day will be like and who will take care him. If your child is interested in pretend play, you can also role play dropping him off at camp successfully. Finally, borrowing books at your local library on starting camp (or preschool) may lead to valuable discussions about your child’s fears.

Talk about emotions. As parents we tend to offer reassurance right away, assume we know what he or she is afraid of, or minimize concerns (“There is nothing to be scared of. Camp will be fun!”).  Instead, try to normalize your child’s anxiety and ask him about what he fears will happen at camp. Try to validate your child’s concerns while helping him feel brave. For example you could say, “It is okay to feel scared about camp. I felt scared too when it was my first day. Then I started to have so much fun and I began to feel brave! I wonder if this might happen to you.”

Show confidence. When the first day of camp arrives, you might feel your own anxiety rise. Keep those worries to yourself and show your child that you are confident in his ability to rise to the challenge. Don’t ask your child permission to leave when it is time for drop off. And definitely don’t sneak away without saying goodbye to your child -- this will only increase your child’s anxiety level. Give one hug and one kiss and keep going out the door!

Ask Camp counselors/teachers for help. Children with separation anxiety may benefit from knowing that there is a safe person at school or camp they can talk with if they are having anxiety. Ask the head counselor to play this role for your child, as this person usually has more experience than the typical camp counselor.

Using these techniques will ease your child’s anxiety and with practice it will become easier for your child to separate from you. However, if your child continues to have difficulty separating from you, consulting an expert may be helpful.

Joanna A. Robin, Ph.D.
Columbia University Clinic for Anxiety and Related Disorders
212-246-5747
robinj@childpsych.columbia.edu