BCM - How did your life change when you became a mom?

Wendy - My life became total chaos.  I think it's impossible to truly be prepared for mommyhood.  Having had two children, exactly two years apart, I was in a chronic stage of sleep deprivation for years.  There were times that I couldn't even recall my home address.  The mommy brain is a real thing -- scary, but temporary.  Sleep is everything.  When mommy sleeps, everyone is happy.   

BCM - What has been your most memorable moment (s) as a mom?

Wendy - I know it's cliche, but nothing melts your heart like the first time your child says, "mommy, I love you."  I'm a deep feeling kind of girl -- very sentimental and nostalgic, so the first days and last days of life milestones always get me choked up.  I virtually couldn't speak on my daughter's first day of kindergarten -- my baby going to kindergarten -- it was just too emotional.  I always cry.

BCM - What has been the biggest challenge for you in motherhood?

Wendy - Keeping my own identity and passions and interests alive.  As a new mother, you get consumed by the demands and pleasures of nurturing and caring for your baby.  But you can also lose yourself in the process.  If there's no time to take a shower or write the thank you notes, clearly there's no time or energy to go to the gym, meet girlfriends for dinner or engage in a hobby.  And balancing career and family is an entirely other challenge that persists well beyond the baby years.   

BCM - What inspired you to write your book - How she really does it? Secrets of Succesful Stay at Work Moms?

Wendy - I was a new mom and struggling with how to balance my personal ambition and career with having a baby and wanting to be a present, engaged, devoted mom.  I knew I wasn't alone in feeling confused and angst-ridden. Being a journalist, and naturally inquisitive, I had tons of questions that I wanted to ask other moms -- how did they do it?   What I discovered was that there are no simple answers, but there are themes, and yes, we women all go through similar struggles and there are ways to perhaps not have it all, but have some of it, all of the time.

BCM - In addition to your book, you are also a Vice President at Dan Klores Cs Communications.   How do you manage your career while being a mother  and a wife? Any advice for moms?

Wendy - Cut yourself some slack and give up the guilt and know that you are doing the best that you can do at the moment.  You don't have to be the perfect mom because there is no "perfect" mother.  I fluctuate from slacker mom to good enough mom and sometimes even kick ass mom -- but it's impossible to be "perfect."  And don't beat yourself up for not being there all of the time.  But when you are with your children, really be with them, be engaged and let them know you are present.  Trust me, you'll feel less guilty when you truly embrace the quality time and not obssess about the quantity.  Children want to know that you are paying attention to them. 

BCM - What types of activities do you like to do w/ your kids?   

Wendy - Now that they are a little older we can do more sporty, athletic activities which I love.  Both kids are now riding their bikes without training wheels which is really exciting.  We've taken them skiing the past few winters and my new sport of the moment for them is tennis.  It's really great to watch them learn new skills and for them to be proud of their growth.  

BCM - If you could give another mom or expectant mom one piece of advice, what would it be?

Wendy - Try not to worry so much and dwell on the little things.  Chances are your children will be fine even if you don't breastfeed or pipe classical music into the nursey or feed them non-organic food or leave them in a dirty type for six hours.  Take deep breaths, relax and enjoy your babies  as much as you can.  It's hard to believe, but you will turn around one day and they will be off to school.  Be in the moment and don't stress out so much. 

BCM - Which BCM event was your favorite?

Wendy - My favorite BCM events are the working mom events.  Having a supportive community of other moms who are dealing with the same issues from feelings of nanny jealousy to how to lobby for a flexible work schedule is really important.   It's reassuring to know that you're not alone.