BCM - How did your life change when you became a mom?

Allison - I think a more appropriate question would be- how did your life NOT change??? Truthfully, I just don’t remember my life before [my daughter] Elle.  Every single aspect of my life, and of me, changed.  Everyone tells you this before you give birth, but it totally rings true- you just don’t find it possible to love and cherish any human being more than your own child—but then you are amazed how much you would give for this person- your entire life.  Along with that comes daily sacrifices, compromises, balancing acts; some days it feels like I am part of a circus, spending my whole day in taxis, to Elle’s school, to run errands, to my office; it just doesn’t end.  But I would never have it any other way.  I also believe your relationship with your partner changes, and sometimes it can be tough to intertwine all these new aspects of your life together.  Definitely a daily challenge to make everything all come in sync, and one that sometimes seems so difficult to do. 

BCM - What has been your most memorable moment (s) as a mom?

Allison -I wish I could have a fun and cute answer, like the first time Elle said “mommy,” or the first time she told me and Brian she loved us, but unfortunately I will say hands down, it was Saturday, February 21, 2009.  That was the night Elle suffered from multiple abnormal febrile seizures and wound up in Presbyterian Hospital for the next 3 days.  She was under the seizures for about an hour and a half before she came out of them, with multiple doctors and ER staff working to try and bring her out.  Standing there with my husband and our extended family when things were uncertain; I will just never forget that feeling for the rest of my life; I will never forget the entire night; the events of that day, everything.  It truly changed me forever and then some.  That was the longest hour and a half of my life, and those few days in the hospital made me never take any moment with Elle for granted.   You will never hear me complain about hanging with her at home,  just doing nothing, or (well, those of you who know Elle know of her 11 pm plus bedtime) even her staying up ridiculously late!!; because I could have lost her, and that feeling of being helpless and screaming at the top of my lungs for 911, will just never leave me.  Till this day, if I close my eyes, I can re-play the entire event.  It is horrific.   My husband keeps a picture of her in the hospital tucked away in his phone so that if things ever get so ‘bad’ in our daily lives, we can just take ourselves back to that scene and suddenly everything is great in our world again.  It’s those little moments that count, the sweet gestures and things they say, which at one point I just was not sure if I would ever have them again.  Definitely; that has been my most memorable moment as a mom, and any parent who has had a child experience one of these, can understand the feeling of sheer despair and helplessness.

BCM - What has been the biggest challenge for you in motherhood

Allison - I would say that the biggest challenge for me has been actually two-fold; how to make it all ‘work’, when I do ‘work!’, and also making my marriage a priority as well in my life.  I am a person who loves to be involved in every single aspect of my child’s world… although I work full-time, I also make sure to be at every single one of my daughter’s school events, ballet recitals, doctors’ appointments, no matter what; that takes first priority.  However, the fact is I do have commitments at work being a corporate lawyer so it does get tough; sometimes I feel like I am wed to my Blackberry and cell-phone and also, whenever I am in one place I am feeling guilty about not being in the other place.   Ann Curry, a working mom on The Today Show once said, ‘be focused wherever you are’ ; when you are in the office don’t be calling your children 24-7, and when you are playing with them at home, turn off your Blackberry.  I constantly try to stick to this and probably fail 9 out of 10 times! But I did think that was great advice. 

The other challenge for me is to spend that quality time with my husband which, with a child is that much tougher.  However, with a child who wants to be up past 11 pm- is crazy tough!  We both work a lot of hours and find it tough to make time for each other.  A successful night (sadly!), is popping on a Reality TV show together at 11:30 and watching it for half an hour because at least it is something we do together.   This whole aspect is something I work on everyday, and each day I try and get a bit better with both.

BCM - How do you manage your work life balance?

Allison - Luckily, my job can be flexible in that it is mainly transactional so I am not that type of lawyer who will need to appear in court.  Hence, I can pretty much do my job from wherever I am some days.  Then there are those other days when I am running from here to there, forgetting stuff everywhere (I’m actually on my way to my daughter’s pre-school after this interview because I left all of her stuff at the school yesterday, running out to work!), and then I feel as if I can’t get anything done properly.  It can get very frustrating.  Some days, even though my daughter is 3, she still cries when I walk out the door, only now she can say “Mommy, why do you have to go to work?  It’s not fair, the other Mommies don’t go to work”… That still tears me apart and there are some mornings I am on the cell phone with my mom hysterical crying in my elevator!  By the time the doorman see me, they know what has transpired and will sometimes give me a tissue.. It is definitely a struggle every single day; doing the right job all around as a mom, an attorney, a wife, etc. etc… very tough.  I think any working mom will say, we do the best we can, and someway, hopefully, it all works out.  I don’t think anyone has the perfect formula for making it work.  I guess just make sure the caregiver is someone you adore.  My daughter has an amazing nanny who is part of the family, and I do not think she is ‘deprived’ at all from having a working mother; I am just the one who cries my eyes out on a bi-weekly basis!!!  :)

BCM - What types of activities do you like to do w/ Elle?

Allison  - Unlike so many of my friends who have moved out of New York City, some days I feel like Carrie Bradshaw in that I still have a love affair with this place!  Therefore, I try and do as many ‘New York’ activities as I can every weekend if I can.. Trips to the Children’s and Natural History Museums, FAO Schwarz, Radio City and MSG kiddie shows, and of course our staple is Central Park on the weekends, the Zoo, the Playgrounds… It’s also the little things; taking a morning walk to Pick-A-Bagel and hanging out on a Saturday morning for an hour watching the ‘people traffic’ , Dylan’s Candy Bar of course!!!, and just walking around 3rd Avenue with Elle and Brian and just seeing the sights, scents, people, there is nothing better to me.  I truly believe that Elle being the way she is, has something to do with her having spent her early years in Manhattan; I just do.  It is just so visually and culturally stimulating for a child and she seems to light up when we are exploring NYC.

BCM- What has been your favorite Big City Moms event to date?

Allison  - I absolutely love all of the Big City Moms events because they just take you from being a nervous new Mom, to easing into it and meeting great people along the way!  I will always love the Expectant Moms Dinners because I met some of my best friends there!!!  They also taught me so much about being a mom since I just had no idea!  I also do love the Halloween event at Kidville.. Love seeing all the kiddies in their costumes, and of course, a shout out to the Little Maestros because any time they are performing, we are there!  We are groupies!! So I would have to say that the Expectant Moms Dinner and the Halloween Party, I definitely love, but really, there has not been one event I have attended that I have not walked away from loving!!!