By Faye Rogaski, founder socialsklz:- tools to thrive in the modern world

Party Giver:
Q: Do we have to send written thank-you notes on behalf of our kids? Or is it enough to just send an email or call the gift givers?
A: It’s important to send thank you notes, despite the temptation of modern technology. Explain to your child that each person who attended the party took the time to pick out a present, write a card, so it’s important to acknowledge those gestures in an appropriate way. Unless the gift is virtual, don’t send a virtual thank you note!

Q: At what age are kids old enough to write their own thank-you notes?
A: Children can start participating in the exercise as early as they can hold a writing utensil. That said, you can write the note and your child can color on it and as he/she gets older, a more active role can be taken. More importantly, however, your child should be involved in the expreience-putting the notes together, licking envelopes, stamping and even going to the mailbox to mail the notes. Thoughtfulness is one of life’s great lessons and it starts at home.

Q: How can I prevent my child from melting down or behaving poorly on their big day?
A: A mock birthday party are a great way to prevent this from happening. Start out by explaining what’s going to happen at the party from start to finish, explaining appropriate behavior during each activity for example how to greet guests that are arriving and departing. The next day you can host a mock party with your child. Make it fun by reviewing key points and then ringing the doorbell yourself, for example . Go through the exercise of opening presents, if you plan to have this as part of the activities. Take out a few paper bags or boxes and have your child unwrap each. Be sure to give a fun toy and then something less than desirable. Talk about how to handle a gift he/she doesn’t like specifically.

Q: What should I do if I see another child behaving inappropriately at the party and their parent isn't nearby or doing anything to stop it?
A: You should first seek out the parent and if he/she isn’t there step in quickly. A birthday party can get chaotic quickly and parents aren’t necessarily equipped to manage it all. Use the rule of thumb “If you see something, say something.”

Attendee:
Q: My child was invited to a birthday party of a classmate, but not his younger sibling. Is it OK for me to bring them both anyway?
A: No it’s not okay to bring anyone other than who was specifically invited.

Q: My child isn't the best at sitting at a table during mealtime and I'm concerned he'll run around during that portion of the party. Should we attend anyway?
A: Take the lead from the host of the party. If it’s a drop-off party, don’t stay. Parents and venues aren’t expecting perfect little angels at birthday parties!

Q: My child was hit/pushed/scared by another child at the party. What should I do?
A: Talk this through with your child and gauge the impact. Ask the appropriate questions necessary and make the decision as to whether or not it warrants a phone call to the birthday party host to see if they happened to notice what happened. Most importantly address the parent without attacking. Use words like, “My child got hurt at the party and I wanted to see if you happened to see anything before I reach out to the parent.”