BCM - How did your life change when you became a mom?

Bena - I’d say the biggest change for me was finding out I have PATIENCE! Every member of my family can attest to the fact that I have absolutely none for anyone but my daughter. Somehow for Simrin, I can reach deep and uncover infinite patience – whether it is in reaction to a midnight spit-up session, watching her plaster yogurt all over her face and hair (though I might look on in horror), or lull her screaming body into sleep in the middle of a cross-country flight.

BCM - What has been your most memorable moment (s) as a mom?

Bena - This changes all the time! Every milestone she hits or new experience she has becomes my most memorable moment. I’d say the most recent was when we took her in the pool for the first time. I had expected Simrin to completely freak out, but she loved every second of it – she was so upset when we took her out! I was a total water baby growing up and it’s great to think that she will be, too. Before that, it was hearing her say “Mama” for the first time. I had just read that “most babies around 8 months old should be able to say ‘Mama’ and ‘Dada,’” and Simrin hadn’t said either. Being the complete Type-A parents that we are, my husband Abhay and I spent the entire week following her around saying “Mama” and “Dada.” She must have thought we were nuts, but she obliged! We were in the car, stopped at a stoplight on 28th Street and 10th Avenue when she first said "Mama." For the record, she said “Dada” the next day.

BCM - What has been the biggest challenge for you in motherhood.  Any advice for new moms? 

Bena - The biggest challenge for me has been coming to terms with ‘sharing’ parenthood with Simrin’s caregiver. It’s really hard knowing that someone else is spending more time with my baby than we are and likely experiencing her “firsts” before we do. What I decided to do was to “own” an aspect of her upbringing, specifically her nutrition, so there is at least one thing in Simrin’s life that I alone am responsible for. Every weekend I plan, shop for and prepare her meals (with the help of OXO Tot baby food prep tools!). Now that she’s a little older, I’ve been exposing her to spices like cardamom, cumin, ground coriander and even a pinch of pepper so that she gets used to eating the same foods we eat. Making her baby food definitely takes a little more time, but it helps me feel like I’m uniquely leading an important part of her upbringing, plus it’s fun getting creative with recipes.

BCM - How do you manage your work/life balance?

Bena - When I was in graduate school, we did a case on Meg Whitman in which she gave the most sound piece of advice I’ve ever heard about working motherhood, particularly in light of being one half of a dual-career couple: “You CAN have it all, just not at the same time.” With that in mind, it’s definitely easier to try and tackle this elusive idea of work/life balance. To get me through the tough patches, I mostly remind myself that Simrin will be my daughter for the rest of my life. If I have to leave early or stay late at work every now and then to feel in control of my career, so be it.

That said I would be remiss not to mention two important factors in my quest for work/life balance. First, I have a very understanding work environment. OXO recently experienced a baby boom, with 25 babies born to our 50 employees in only 5 years (Simrin was baby number 30, and two more were born since then). Everyone gets it - doctor’s appointments, ear infections, sleepless nights… the whole nine. My colleagues are great to bounce things off of, too! Everyone has been there before.

Second, and even more importantly, I have an amazing partner in my husband. He does his best to make sure our parenting (and career!) roles are 50/50 and is the 100% most motivating force in my life.  

BCM - What types of activities do you like to do with Simrin?

Bena - I feel like we’re still getting the hang of being working parents, so our weekends involve a lot of unstructured time. Now that the weather is getting nicer we have been spending a lot of time at the playgrounds on the UES (my favorite is the one at Carl Schurz park) taking Simrin on the swings. She absolutely loves it! Other than that, we spend a lot of time reading all about Angelina, Olivia, Madeline and Ferdinand (just to mix it up a bit) and making up silly songs. My personal favorite is this version of “Single Ladies” that came to me when she got food all over one of her cutest outfits – the chorus goes “If you like it then you should have put a BIB on it….”

BCM- What has been your favorite Big City Moms event to date?

Bena - Too many to choose from! The Biggest Baby Shower is way up there, but I have honestly really found the Working Moms Wellness Support Group incredibly helpful (though in full disclosure, and ironically, it’s been a while since I’ve made it over there!). It’s a fantastic form of therapy just to listen to other moms in the same boat. I’ve truly gotten some great advice that I’ve passed on to friends. Oh, and the Sleep Lunch is something I come back to again and again.

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FUN FACTS

I’m totally obsessed with….

Bena - Gilt.com for baby clothes.

My biggest influence is…

Bena - My mother.

My favorite drugstore buy is…

Bena - Special K Vanilla Almond at CVS (so cheap!).

Products I can’t live without…

Bena - It has to be said – I absolutely LOVE the OXO Tot products! My go-to products are the Swivel Peeler (for all those carrots, sweet potatoes, yams, apples and pears that go into Simrin’s tummy), the Feeding Spoons and the Bowls.

My guilty pleasure is...

Bena - A toss-up between Bethenny Ever After and Keeping up with the Kardashians (watching them on Netflix).

Favorite restaurant….

Bena - It depends. For Italian, Piccolo Angolo in the Village. For Pizza, Vezzo in Murray Hill. For Indian, Saravanas in Curry Hill. But no one cooks like my mom.