Do you see all those sappy, lovey-dovey Facebook and Instagram posts of couples who are just soooooo in love?
In their pictures, the lighting is perfect, their hair is coiffed, they’re looking longingly into each other’s eyes with hands clasped, or the husband’s wrapping his arm adorably around his wife. The captions are always some gushing sentiment about their love, and how lucky they are, and ohmygosh they’re still best friends and just have so much fun, and they can’t imagine doing life with anyone else.
And you read them and you’re just sitting there on your phone with your eyes rolling further back in your head than my preteen’s when I ask her to clean her room.
Relationships are hard. They are hard because we never truly know what the inner-workings of anyone else’s relationships are like. Think about that for a minute: you never know the truth of someone else’s relationship, no matter how much you think you do. Sure, you may spend a lot of time with another couple, you may see a lot of posts about someone’s marriage, and you may be privy to their highlight reels, but the reality of any relationship only occurs between two people behind closed doors.
And the truth is not always pretty.
Sometimes, I dread events like Valentine’s Day because I just know there will be an overwhelming outpouring of sappy love posts from picture-perfect couples. And meanwhile, my marriage feels like a constant battle. A battle that I fight each and every single day. Heck, this morning, I had to give myself a pep talk so I could let my husband have the last egg for breakfast. Chaunie, you can eat something else. You love this man, it’s OK. You will not starve without eggs for breakfast.
How’s that for true love?
Here’s the thing: I am guilty of posting about my husband on social media. I definitely don’t have the perfect lighting and the styled hair and the professional photos, but from time to time, I have thrown up a post about how hard my husband works, how much he sacrifices for his family, and how grateful I am to have a partner like him–mostly because he cooks me a lot of good food. But seriously, I have posted some of those lovey-dovey posts, if mostly to remind myself that, oh yeah, I do kind of like this person that I married.
Because we forget, don’t we?
And every now and then, I like to remind myself of the traits that first attracted myself to my husband; I like to remind myself why he’s worthy of getting the last egg in the carton, and I like to give myself a memory to look back on when I’m scrolling my own Instagram months later (don’t lie, you do it too) when maybe I just had a fight with my husband and the pictures remind me that marriage is work, but it can be worth it.
So, this Valentine’s Day, if you’re overwhelmed and depressed by how many lovey-dovey posts are popping up on social media while you’re at home just trying to tolerate your husband, it’s OK to roll your eyes and keep scrolling. It’s OK to stay off social media for the day so you’re not reminded of what you think you don’t have. It’s OK to remember that 98% of those posts are pretty darn exaggerated (not an official statistic, but still) and it’s not reality. And most of all, it’s OK to remember that behind every sappy post about how great marriage is, is a real-life wife at home fighting with her husband over the last egg.
Because that’s the reality of marriage. And honey, if you’re reading this, I hope you had a good breakfast because I’m starving.
Thanks a lot. 😉