15 Moms Share Their Dirtiest Parenting Moment

Let’s face it, motherhood is always a mess but sometimes, it’s downright dirty. Once you become a mother, gross takes on a whole new meaning. It takes a lot more to phase you because, well, you’ve seen it all and then some.

One thing that is also true though, is that those dirty moments make for some pretty epic stories. These 15 moms are opening up about their dirtiest parenting moments, from the hilarious to the downright filthy.

  1. “When we potty trained our daughter we definitely taught her to “flush and wash and be on your way” thanks to Daniel Tiger. We didn’t realize until recently that maybe we should have put bit more emphasis on the wiping part. One day I watched her frantically run out of the bathroom, so that she could wipe…on the couch! I was horrified and luckily she had only gone pee and our couch comes apart and is entirely washable.” – Kristen Baker, 30
  2. “We had close friends over for a get-together for the first time after leaving the hospital. I was sitting in the living room with my newborn daughter on my lap, and she projectile vomited… all over me. I was covered. The couch was covered. I have no idea how someone that small could have thrown up that much, but it was ALL OVER.” – Jeanne Sager, 34
  3. “One day I opened the door to my daughter’s room after nap time and realized that a) the diaper was off, b) she had smeared poop EVERYWHERE (carpet, bed, walls, windows, you name it), and c) she was actually HOLDING a large bit of it, but she didn’t want to be and was freaking out. I had a split second to acknowledge that if I didn’t let her hand me the poop she was going to drop it or wipe it on one of the few surfaces not already covered. I didn’t have time to grab anything to protect myself, I just had to accept her “gift.” The true meaning of love and parenting is letting someone hand you their poop.” – Kate Lawrence Johnson, 39
  4. “We were on a red-eye from L.A. to NY and my then eight-year old daughter complained of feeling nauseous as we were landing. I asked if she was going to vomit, and she said no. So I got our suitcases out of the overhead bin and as we’re standing practically back to back in the crowded line to get off the plane she turns to me and says I’m going to barf. There was no where to move and there was no airsickness bag in sight, so in my sleepless haze and without thinking this through thoroughly, I cupped my hands under her mouth and she barfed in my hands, and all over my pants and new walking shoes. There was a collective “Ew” from the passengers. Of course, my husband looked at me like I was nuts.” – Linda Wolff, 52
  5. “When my first son was about 3 months old, I remember staring lovingly into his eyes as I held him in front of my face. As I was talking to him in the sweetest voice, he gave me a big smile and threw up in my mouth!” – DeAndea Salvador, 26
  6. “I was taking a bath with my firstborn infant. I had him lying on my lap, directly over my crotch, his head cradled in my knees as we stared at each other and smiled…and then he let loose infant breastfeeding diarrhea all over my pubic area. Welcome to motherhood!” – Maggie May Ethridge, 42
  7. “We were at my husband’s college roommate’s apartment. We were young parents, and he was kind of a clean freak. Our daughter was in her playpen for a nap. She took off her diaper and pooped all over the pillow he had given us for her to sleep on. Then she smeared poop in a mural fashion all over the playpen. My husband was mortified, and we never talked about it with his roommate again. Needless to say, we still have that pillow because we were too mortified to give it back after it was clean.” – Briana Meade, 28
  8. “We were on our family trip in San Francisco and went to see the redwoods. The road to the Redwoods is so curvy and full of sharp turns. About halfway to them our youngest daughter (age 2) puked everywhere! I mean all over the back seat of the car (like chunky sour milk with gummies). Our 8 year-old then started heaving and did everything in her power to not vomit! Thank God she held hers in, but the rest of the way we all fought the urge to vomit due to the foul smell of old sour milk. Once we got there we had to clean it up and I almost puked again doing that! We had to get our car professionally cleaned and detailed to get the smell out.” – Kimberly Fragoso, 27
  9. “I was having a sit down dinner with my potty training 2-year-old, something I intend to do daily, but it really happens about 1-2 times a week. She was fidgeting and just after asking her what was wrong I noticed she had taken a dump on the seat cushion literally without pausing in her eating. Needless to say that was the end of my dinner.” – Kelly Burch, 27
  10. “As soon as I gave birth, I scooped my newborn daughter up and soon after she pooped in my hand and wouldn’t stop wiggling so we were both covered pretty good!” – Megan Petkov,
  11. “My son is forever touching his penis and then touching my face. Once he randomly popped his fingers in my mouth (seriously, WHY???) after I had seen him with his hand in his pants minutes before.” – Lauren Hartmann, 32
  12. “Once we were in my friend’s car on the way to her house. My son was bundled up in his car seat and pooped (he was like 5 months or so) and it went through his clothes and up his back! Luckily we were going to her house so I could wash his stuff. I had to give him a bath in her sink! What a mess!!” – Sa’iyda Shabazz, 30
  13. “One time I was changing my tiny son, exclaiming over his cuteness. I got a little close while laughing with my mouth open, and I got a fountain of pee in my mouth.” – Donna Jones, 37
  14. “I was changing my first born and had his legs pulled up to wipe. I was pretty close up as I wiped underneath his boy parts to ensure I’d got everything when he projectile pooped – you know the breastmilk baby poop? – all over my face. I wear glasses. There was so much poop over my glasses I couldn’t even see.” – Fayth Ross, 41
  15. “We were at a Kawanis Pancake dinner when we lost track of our son, We kept looking around, and finally he came out from under the table chewing gum that he found down there.” – Monica Ramsay, 55