Kids are weird. They do weird things, make weird sounds, develop weird rashes…the list goes on and on. But, lucky for us, good ‘ol Google always comes through when we as parents have no idea why our kid just did that random weird thing. Sometimes I wonder what parents ever did before Google?
Recently I was Googling something totally random and weird that was happening with my son and I just started laughing at the completely ridiculous nature of my query as I thought, “Only a parent would Google this.” This thought inspired me to put out the question to my friends online: “What is the most ridiculous thing you have Googled since becoming a parent?” The answers did not disappoint, though I think #10 wins the most random award for sure. Have you Googled any of these?
- “Why does my baby sound like a dolphin?” – Julia
- ‘Can a 3-year-old have oppositional defiance disorder?’ Most of the answers are like ‘No. They are a toddler.” – Kristin
- “Does my baby have elephantiasis?” – Laura
- “Baby ate lump of coal” – Carrie
- “‘Worms in poop.’ Horrifying. Absolutely horrifying.” – Kacie
- “What to do if baby swallowed ¾ of purple crayon whole.” – Valerie
- “Ummm how about “GELATINOUS BALLS IN POOP”?? Turns out that’s a side effect of eating too much vegan cheese. Never again.” – Annie
- “Toddler ate tip of binkie. Will he be okay?” – Janice
- “Something majestic along the lines of: ‘I think my baby accidentally ate his poop, will he be okay?’ Along with a doctors call of course. Who laughed at me and said that’s normal.” – Illyana
- “How to get nail polish off a penis?” – Debbie
- “How much sidewalk chalk is safe for consumption?” – Emilie
- “So many. ‘Why does my baby sound like a pterodactyl?’, ‘What happens if you eat black mould (from bath toys)?’ Answer: probably nothing. ‘Signs my child is a genius’ (that bubble burst early), ‘Does my 3 year old poop too much?’” – Ria
- “What to do if your toddler walks in during sex.” – Laura
- “‘Why is my breast milk green?’ The answer was my spinach smoothie habit.” – Kara
- ‘Is it okay my child ate dog food? Ate dust bunny? Ate dog hair? Ate dirt?’ Clearly she ate a lot of stuff.” – Lauren
- “‘What to do if your 10 month old eats a slug?’ In case anyone’s wondering, they’ll be okay, it’s just incredibly disgusting.” – Hannah
- “How to remove boogers from the wall.” – Brieanne
- “‘Is cat food dairy-free?’ Milk-allergic baby found the dry cat food and thought it was crunchy snacks.” – Katy
- “Will a Tic Tac dissolve in the ear?” – Meghan
- “Something along the lines of ‘mouse in the pantry and kid ate cookie near mouse poop.’ The nurse also giggled at me when I called and said my son had a fever and I thought he had Hantavirus. Thanks a lot Google.” – Susan
- “’How to fix my newborn’s elf look alike ears?’ Answer: tape them back with medical tape. It worked too!“ – Gabriela
- “‘Why did my 14-month-old’s toe nail fall off?’ FYI: It was because of hand foot and mouth disease. – Christin
- “‘Kid-friendly female genital anatomy diagram.’ My son was curious what not having a penis looked like.” – Jenn
- “‘Do newborn baby girls have a period?’ The surprising answer is that they actually do!” – Lynsee
- “Is it possible to die from not sleeping for 4 years?” – Heather