25 Totally Real and Ridiculous Things Parents Have Actually Googled

Kids are weird. They do weird things, make weird sounds, develop weird rashes…the list goes on and on. But, lucky for us, good ‘ol Google always comes through when we as parents have no idea why our kid just did that random weird thing. Sometimes I wonder what parents ever did before Google?


Recently I was Googling something totally random and weird that was happening with my son and I just started laughing at the completely ridiculous nature of my query as I thought, “Only a parent would Google this.” This thought inspired me to put out the question to my friends online: “What is the most ridiculous thing you have Googled since becoming a parent?” The answers did not disappoint, though I think #10 wins the most random award for sure. Have you Googled any of these?


  1. “Why does my baby sound like a dolphin?” – Julia
  2.  ‘Can a 3-year-old have oppositional defiance disorder?’ Most of the answers are like ‘No. They are a toddler.” – Kristin
  3.  “Does my baby have elephantiasis?” – Laura
  4.  “Baby ate lump of coal” – Carrie
  5.  “‘Worms in poop.’ Horrifying. Absolutely horrifying.” – Kacie
  6.  “What to do if baby swallowed ¾  of purple crayon whole.” – Valerie
  7.  “Ummm how about “GELATINOUS BALLS IN POOP”?? Turns out that’s a side effect of eating too much vegan cheese. Never again.” – Annie
  8.  “Toddler ate tip of binkie. Will he be okay?” – Janice
  9.  “Something majestic along the lines of: ‘I think my baby accidentally ate his poop, will he be okay? Along with a doctors call of course. Who laughed at me and said that’s normal.” – Illyana
  10.  “How to get nail polish off a penis?” – Debbie
  11.  “How much sidewalk chalk is safe for consumption?” – Emilie
  12.  “So many. ‘Why does my baby sound like a pterodactyl?’, ‘What happens if you eat black mould (from bath toys)?’ Answer: probably nothing. ‘Signs my child is a genius’ (that bubble burst early), ‘Does my 3 year old poop too much?’” – Ria
  13.  “What to do if your toddler walks in during sex.” – Laura
  14.  “‘Why is my breast milk green?’ The answer was my spinach smoothie habit.” – Kara
  15.  ‘Is it okay my child ate dog food? Ate dust bunny? Ate dog hair? Ate dirt?’ Clearly she ate a lot of stuff.” – Lauren
  16.  “What to do if your 10 month old eats a slug?’ In case anyone’s wondering, they’ll be okay, it’s just incredibly disgusting.” – Hannah
  17. “How to remove boogers from the wall.” – Brieanne
  18.  “‘Is cat food dairy-free?’ Milk-allergic baby found the dry cat food and thought it was crunchy snacks.” – Katy
  19.  “Will a Tic Tac dissolve in the ear?” – Meghan
  20.  “Something along the lines of ‘mouse in the pantry and kid ate cookie near mouse poop.’ The nurse also giggled at me when I called and said my son had a fever and I thought he had Hantavirus. Thanks a lot Google.” – Susan
  21. ’How to fix my newborn’s elf look alike ears?’ Answer: tape them back with medical tape. It worked too!“ – Gabriela
  22.   “‘Why did my 14-month-old’s toe nail fall off?’ FYI: It was because of hand foot and mouth disease. – Christin
  23.  “‘Kid-friendly female genital anatomy diagram.’ My son was curious what not having a penis looked like.” – Jenn
  24.   “‘Do newborn baby girls have a period?’ The surprising answer is that they actually do!” – Lynsee
  25.  “Is it possible to die from not sleeping for 4 years?” – Heather