After asking new parents to take their breastfeeding babies to the bathroom at her wedding, one bride-to-be is being blasted by breastfeeding advocates online.
Shared by an anonymous follower of the page Breastfeeding Mama Talk, the post contained a picture of the request along with a few more details about the situation.
“To all our mommies who are breastfeeding….we are sensitive to the fact that you may need to breastfeed during our event,” the note began. “Therefore, we have designated an appropriate place for your to feed your baby so that you do not have to do so in front of our Family and Friends. For your convenience we are accommodating you with a comfortable and private area with chairs and baby blankets in the ladies room. We request you use this area when you are breastfeeding. Thank you.”
Unnecessary capitalization and passive aggressive use of italics aside, it makes sense why this mom was offended. Feeding a baby in the bathroom is honestly kind of gross. I know from experience. Several months back, when my third child was still a newborn, I made a desperate attempt to nurse him in the bathroom stall of a busy restaurant after several failed attempts to feed him at the table. Since the stall was downright disgusting, I made my best attempt at feeding him standing up. There were tears all around, and our dinner came to a screeching halt when I realized I couldn’t create a sanitary feeding environment in a public restroom.
This isn’t just about sanitation, of course. Although I respect any mom’s choice to feed her baby in private, being required to do so is both offensive and isolating to new moms. Making it out of the house in those first few months after giving birth is hard enough— without being asked to spend half the night out cooped up in a bathroom.
To make matters worse, the new mom who received the invite was in a really tight spot. The groom was her husband’s best friend, and skipping the event altogether would have certainly sent this bridezilla over the edge. And, although she shared that she did consider leaving her kids at home for the night, that really wasn’t much of an option either. According to her post, her three-month-old has refused every bottle they’ve offered her so far.
This mama was facing a hard decision, but feeding her baby in a bathroom wasn’t a choice she was willing to consider. Instead, knowing should could either risk pissing off the bride or leave her newborn at home with a friend who was willing to act as a stand-in wet nurse for the night, she chose to leave her baby at home. Let’s just hope she wasn’t forced to spend all evening in the bathroom, alone and attached to her breast pump.
No matter how much progress we seem to make advocating against breastfeeding discrimination, there will always be that one person who is preoccupied enough with their own comfort and preferences that they somehow believe it’s acceptable to ask a mother to feed her baby in the same place people poop.