It’s the first thing I do in the morning, the one thing I do all day long, and the last thing I do at night.
Yup, you guessed it: it’s looking at my phone.
Checking my phone entails looking at two email inboxes, plus browsing SnapChat, Facebook, and Instagram almost every single time I look at it. Not to mention the other daily tasks I use my phone for, like ordering my groceries online, checking my bank account, keeping an eye on our budget, and organizing our calendar. Basically, my entire personal and professional life is in that tiny little handheld machine, and it’s something that has both freed and trapped me forever.
On one hand, having a phone that houses my entire life allows me to do things like check emails for work while taking my kids to the park or schedule a vacation knowing I can work in the car. But on the other hand, that degree of flexibility comes with a price — and a pretty hard-to-break habit of constantly feeling like I’m never allowed to unplug. Especially when you work for yourself, it can feel like slowing down means missing out on opportunities.
And then there’s the simple fact that honestly? I’ve gotten in a horrible habit of using my phone to escape the mundane routine of life at home with young kids. Maybe you’re not the type who feels like screaming/running away/curling up in a ball when faced with a day of little kids who need constant snacks and butt wiping and tantrum soothing and breaking-up fights, but I am. I have a hard time organizing the chaos of trying to get them out the door for “fun” activities, dealing with the inevitable meltdowns, and then coming home with a van full of cranky, dirty children. So yup, we’re home a lot. And that means I use my phone to escape.
A lot.
Toddler made a mess of the bathroom again? Text my mom friends for a pick-me-up.
Preschooler made an argument with me that drove me up the wall but was also kind of hilarious? Gotta Instagram that.
Pre-teens acting up again? Look up advice online or just scroll through Facebook to distract myself so I don’t lose it again.
My phone, which first opened up a new world to me, a way to combine having a career and motherhood, has also become my ultimate crutch. It’s that sidekick I just can’t shake, that habit I just can’t break. At first, my phone felt like some kind of miracle, a gateway to “having it all,” but now it feels like a trap into feeling like I have to chase it all.
Truthfully, even I am sick of my phone. It’s become just one of those things that I do without thinking about it. When I wake up in the morning, when I walk past the counter, when I stop in the parking lot, when I plop in bed at the end of the night. I tell myself not to do it and the next thing I know, I’ve spent two hours mindlessly scrolling Instagram. And what have I gained? There is so much more that I’d like to be doing with my time, like reading books I actually enjoy, spending time with my husband, or um, sleeping.
I hate the thought that my kids will grow up seeing me glued to a screen, but at the same time, I haven’t known how to stop it. So here I am, admitting that I’m a mom who’s addicted to her phone.
I’m definitely ready for a change and I’ve started to take some action to break my addiction. Our family took our first-ever camping trip, where I left my phone untouched and did crazy things like watch the sun rise on the beach, rode bikes with my kids, and sat around the fire at night instead of checking social media or organizing my inbox. It felt awesome and it showed me how much time I am really wasting by replying back to every single email as it comes in, or responding to comments or posting every funny thing my kids say.
So from now on, I’m making a plan to stay off the phone and live more instead. The plan includes:
- Purposefully plugging my phone in away from my bed. Out of sight, out of mind, right?
- “Batching” emails. This is a concept I’ve seen professionals utilize and it’s become popular because it works. Instead of answering emails or checking them as they come, choose one time a day to tackle them.
- Removing all notifications from my phone. I have zero notifications on my phone, not even emails. It’s made a huge, huge difference in my life.
- Focusing on the things I want to do instead. Making a list of how I actually want to spend my time instead of spending my life on a screen has helped a lot. Do I want to lose an hour looking at pictures of strangers doing fun things or do I want actually want to live my own life?
- Reading more. I’ve made a habit of taking my kids to the library and stocking up on a huge stack of books, so I always have one to dig into at night. This is a win-win for all of us, because my kids love the library too.
How do you unplug? Are you a mom addicted to your phone too?