When my husband and I announced that we were pregnant with our first child Dax, I very vividly remember a friend of ours and father of three recounting to us the birth of his first child.
“I love all of my children, of course,” he said. “But there’s just something about that first one. The first one is just different. Special. I mean, it’s your first, after all.”
And, to us, he was right. Everything is new with our oldest son Dax. His birth was my first birth. He was the first child I nursed. He was the first child we potty-trained. He’s the first of our children who will go into grade school. And so on, and so on.
I love each and every first we have with him. They are each so dear to me. However, the thing that makes him so special – him being my first child – also comes with a pretty significant issue: he is my first.
He is my guinea pig. He’s the one my husband and I test our entire parenting prowess on. He is the blank slate, the fresh canvas, onto which we are haphazardly throwing huge brush strokes and frantic scribbles, hoping he turns out okay in the end. I have no context for his development, and whether or not it is appropriate for his age. He blows me away each and every day in some way, shape, or form, and nine times out of ten, it gives me a skewed view of him and my parenting.
Which is why I come to you, Oh Internet. Oh knower of all things, can you help me out? Can you let me know something?
Am I biased, or is my kid really the best?
That is not a rhetorical question! I’m serious! Level with me here; am I totally blinded by my own genetics, or is Dax the absolute best at everything? Take these, for example:
- He’s only four and is already reading and doing basic math. Admittedly, most of this comes from PBS Kids shows, but I did take a lot of time in his first few years of life teaching him the alphabet and numbers. And he took to it like a fish to water. Am I biased, or is my kid a total genius?
- His eyes are a color I’ve never seen before, and it’s the prettiest color I’ve ever seen. They are a mix between blue and yellow, but they are NOT green. They are just… a mix of blue and yellow. Am I biased, or is this the most unique set of eyes that have ever blinked?
- He is smarter than me already – no, really, he is. He is already manipulating me and bargaining with me in ways that catch me off guard on the daily. Am I biased, or is my child the most cunning four-year-old out there?
- His memory is a steel trap. He can recall things that happened before he could speak. I’m serious. Am I biased, or does my kid have more random access memory than my laptop?
- Dax is such a good friend. Seriously. He always reaches out to the new kids at church, and he is incredibly good at sharing. (I will say, though, he’s not as good at sharing with his little brother as he is with his friends.) Am I biased, or is my child the best friend everyone else’s child should have?
I literally don’t know, guys. Help me out. I know I’m his mom and all, and I know I’ve never done this, but I really feel like he’s the best. Feel free to challenge me on this and try to bring me back down to earth a bit. But it’ll be hard, because I know what I see, and what I see is the best four-year-old ever.
Mine.