I hear it all the time from well-meaning (or maybe not so well-meaning) people, “Don’t have kids! Your life will be over!” Society at large is under the assumption that once you start reproducing the fun is over. You will no longer be going on adventures or living the good life. You are sentenced to a lifetime of boring kid stuff. No sleep. No adventures. No excitement. No fun. It’s over.
I’m here to tell you, it’s simply not true. Sure, I don’t sleep in on Saturdays anymore and in some ways I have been limited by nap time or the age appropriateness of certain activities. But for the most part, life is incredibly fun and full.
I’m an introvert by nature. I like calm and quiet and routine. I’m not really into trying new things, especially if they’re out of my comfort zone. But through my children I have discovered new interests and gone on more adventures. If it weren’t for my son we would not have taken a trip to Colorado this winter to frolic in the snow. If it weren’t for my daughter I wouldn’t know or care much about soccer. Thanks to my kids I know more about Star Wars and Marvel than I ever thought I would. I’m also more open to seeing what’s going on around our city and participating in community events.
I asked some of my friends who are parents and learned that they have discovered a plethora of interests thanks to their children. Andrea Homar, the mother of two little boys, says she has discovered the world of video games. I can attest to that new activity because my five year old son loves playing Minecraft and he makes sure to tell me every new detail he learns about the game. Sometimes when moms have male children we are forced to enter the world of little boys. Many moms shared that they now have an interest in football, superheroes, Legos, and camping thanks to their boys.
Elienai Maldonado has three outdoor-loving girls in her house, “I never thought I would touch crabs and lizards. They love spiders and snakes and any animal really.” I love that our kids can sometimes push us to face our fears and be brave. I have held many a lizard and centipede in my years as a mom. Other moms have bravely boarded rollercoasters or hiked mountains or sky dived out of a plane simply because their child wanted to try it. One friend of mine recently took up horseback riding after watching each of her children try, even though she was initially terrified.
Our kids can also remind us that we have a creative side. Elizabeth Parise has three children and she says, “I’ve tried designing mazes and mini-books for [my son]!” Jill Marquis started coaching Odyssey of the Mind, a problem-solving competition because of her kids. “It proves that creativity can be taught!” This is definitely something I can relate to. I always loved writing when I was younger, but over the years I left it by the wayside. I almost forgot that I was a creative being. It wasn’t until my children were born that I re-discovered my love for writing and I have since made a career out of it. I’m not sure I would even be a freelance writer were it not for my kids.
Don’t buy into the lie that children hinder you from living a full life. If anything, you may discover that children actually push us to be our best selves. We can try things we never would have tried and may discover new loves along the way.