Listen, I know that there are plenty of mothers out there who “bounce back” quite easily and without much effort after having a baby. I know that there are mothers who (quite literally) work their as*** off after having a baby to get to a weight or a size that they feel is most comfortable to them. I know that there are mothers who can make like Heidi Klum and pop a bunch of kids out and still rock bikinis without a second thought.
But I am not one of them.
And just in case you happen to be like me, I wanted to let you in on a little secret: it’s OK.
No matter where you are at in your body journey as a woman and as a mother – and I say journey because our bodies go through so many changes as women and how we see our bodies always changes so much – it is important to be OK with where you are at in this very moment.
Even if you weigh more than you would like to right now, it’s OK.
Even if you feel like your body will never be where you want it to be again, it’s OK.
Even if you spent time this morning crying because nothing fits you, it’s OK.
Even if you feel like thinking about your body is the last thing you want to do at the moment, it’s OK.
Even if you know that no matter what you do, you will never be the same again, it’s OK.
Who you are, extra weight, back rolls, stomach pooches and all (and I say those things because I have all those things!), is a part of your story. Even if you don’t stay that way and even if you do, I wish we could all see the whole, beautiful picture of our lives as mothers and realize that this moment is just one of many. You won’t look back and remember the way it felt when your pants pinched into your stomach. You won’t look back and remember how you walked into your first event after having a baby and wondered how you looked compared to the other women there. You won’t look back and remember how much guilt you had when you left your baby to go to the gym.
Instead, you will look back and remember what it felt like to hold that delicious baby weight in your arms as you snuggled in your pajamas all day. You will remember how proud you were to show off your baby for the first time. You will remember how grateful you were to have the chance to stay healthy for your family.
And those are the moments and memories we need to hold onto.
Because trust me, I know how difficult it can be to balance wanting to the best version of ourselves right this very minute and wanting to love our bodies for what they are capable of, instead of what they look like – but also just wanting our freaking pants to zip up. That balance can be difficult for some of us and downright impossible in some moments for others.
But the one thing that I think has helped me and will continue to help me as my own body image journey continues is to remember one important thing:
I may not ever get my body “back”.
But what I will gain instead is so much better.