If you are a mom and a user of the internet, then you probably know the phrase “everyone’s a critic” all too well. Nothing brings out an inner-critic quite like seeing someone parenting differently from us…or even worse, doing something that we might perceive as *gasp!* wrong.
Remember the time you had the absolute nerve to post that photo of your two-year-old sleeping sweetly in his carseat? Remember those judgy moms who commented on the “too loose straps” or how “unsafe” it is for kids to sleep in a carseat? Yep. You aren’t alone. Most of us have been trolled by a sanctimommy or two at some point, but when you’re pregnant and a celebrity, well…the trolls tend to come out in droves.
Such was the case with this seemingly benign photo that singer Pink posted in her Instagram feed yesterday.
A photo posted by P!NK (@pink) on Dec 5, 2016 at 10:28am PST
In the photo we see a smiling Pink, taking a break on the floor because: tired, pregnant mama. Most of us would likely think “been there”, leave a solidarity emoji in the comments and just keep scrolling through our Instafeed. But you best believe those mom shamers were not going to let this go without a fight, because of course not.
When the photo and caption were shared on The Today Show’s Facebook page, the trolls just couldn’t help themselves. They started chiming in with passive aggressive gems like this one,
“Three doctors told me coffee is coffee, decaf or not…Feeding addictive stimulants to an unborn baby. Well, that’s your choice…I just stayed away from anything that may disturb my baby’s growth. A very worthwhile price so my baby can grow healthy and free of my not so healthy choices. My babies were so worth it. They come first, always. Hey, no ones place to judge. (Well, no one that doesn’t know you.) That’s your choice, and yours alone.”
Annnnnd…this is why we can’t have nice things. All the eye rolls.
Then because judgement about coffee drinking wasn’t enough, they start in on the microwave, because microwaves are the literal devil.
“Ooo no microwaving in plastic! Esp when preg!” and
“…Don’t microwave anything! All food/drinks loose there essence after microwaving for more than 60 seconds”.
And after that it sort of unravels into endless comments about “WHY IS HER MICROWAVE SO WEIRD?!”.
I can’t even with you sanctimommies! What did Pink ever do to you? She’s just a girl, sitting in front of a microwave, trying to sneak in a rest, and really is that too much to ask?
Motherhood is exhausting. Pregnancy is exhausting. And doing them both at the same time? Well that is enough to drive a person to drink. But Pink isn’t even drinking anything good. She’s drinking decaf coffee (DE. CAF.). Clearly she cares about her baby a little or she’d be main lining margaritas, or at the very least drinking coffee with more caffeine in it.
Coffee was pretty much my lifeline during my last pregnancy when I was already wrestling two other young children (read: age four-and-under). During my first pregnancy I stuck to decaf. During the second, I drank decaf during the first trimester. And this time I just drank the good stuff. I also ate lunch meat and tuna and hot dogs and runny eggs and medium rare steak. I even enjoyed the occasional small glass of wine at the end of a long day. And do you know what? My kids are all perfectly healthy.
Do I begrudge the sanctimommies from adhering to their self-made parenting rules with religious fervor? Nope. Have at it ladies. I won’t judge you (out loud or in a comment on social media…but let’s be real I will probably give you so much shade in my own mind), so maybe step off a little and let the rest of us (celebrities like Pink included!) enjoy our coffee and runny eggs and parent however we please.
In the words of one of my always wise mama-friends: “You do you boo boo.”
Preach.